Sugar and Snails

Last week I finished reading Anne Goodwin‘s debut novel Sugar and Snails. While I have been a fan of Goodwin’s writing for some time, it’s difficult to anticipate whether someone who writes wonderful short stories will also have the skills required to assemble a novel. Goodwin most definitely does. I highly recommend that you give her novel a try – you will not be disappointed.

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Below is the five-star review I am posting on Amazon and Goodreads:

A coming-of-age story unlike many others

I picked up Sugar and Snails without having any idea what it was about (details below under the Spoiler Alert), and I have to say that I was delightfully surprised by both the storyline and the style of writing. I loved the way the author slowly unravels the story behind the youthful Diana’s mysterious life-changing decision, picking away it, probing her memory and subconscious for details, just like the psychologist her main character portrays. It’s a classic example of form fitting function, and it drew me deeply into the story even as I was drawn more and more deeply into the depths of Diana’s mind.

The writing is smooth and expertly done, with characters who are imperfect and three-dimensionally drawn. I was reminded of the novels of Graham Greene in both the manner in which the story unfolds and the realistic characterizations of the people involved. Ostensibly this is a book about Diana’s decision, a decision that she made when she had neither the knowledge nor experience to make it, a decision that has dogged her every year of her life since she was fifteen. It takes her thirty years to comes to terms with that decision, but ultimately, you’re proud of her for how she handles it, and proud of her, too, for how she decides to move forward.

SPOILER ALERT!

In a day in which Caitlyn Jenner is gracing the front cover of Vanity Fair, transgender issues are at the forefront of the collective consciousness. We are entering an era of great social change, an era in which we are coming to acknowledge that trans people, like homosexuals, have little choice but to be who they are. What is so powerfully moving about Diana’s story is that it harkens back to an epoch before there was any tolerance at all for gender that was not one hundred percent “man” or one hundred percent “woman”; she demonstrates with painful yet not pitiful eloquence how difficult it can be merely to exist in a world in which one must identify oneself solely with one or the other, and ultimately, how we all suffer from trying to adhere to this strict dichotomy of gender. Hers is a coming-of-age story unlike many others, yet it cries out to be told, to join the stories of other youths who have suffered crises of sexual or gender identity in a world that has often been hostile to them. Yet, it, too, offers hope, for if, in the modern era, a forty-five-year-old woman can at last find peace, if a sixty-five-year-old woman can find peace, then perhaps the young people who follow in their footsteps will never have to know the suffering that the older generation endured; peace may be theirs without their having to find it.

The 7th Annual Northwest Book Festival in Portland

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Greetings from Medford, Oregon, where it’s been so hot that if I abandon my cold coffee mid-morning and leave it in the truck all day, it’s warm enough to drink again by mid-afternoon! As you might have guessed from the above banner, I’m on my way up to the 7th Annual Northwest Book Festival in Portland, and boy, am I enjoying the excuse for a road trip. I don’t think I ever sleep better than I do in the back of my truck – I think it’s like my natural habitat or something.

Anyway, if you’re in the Portland area, come on down to Pioneer Courthouse Square this Saturday between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. and say hello. I’ll be at Table 24 signing books all day – I look forward to seeing you there!

Self-Published Books Worth Reading – Here’s One of Them

A while back I nominated Geoff Le Pard’s fabulous coming-of-age comedy Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle for ReadFreely‘s “50 Self-Published Books Worth Reading” contest. I’m happy to report that the book has made the first cut, and as voting is now open, I would encourage you to check out the list and cast your vote:

http://www.readfree.ly/vote-for-the-50-self-published-books-worth-reading-2015-comedy/

And if you haven’t read it yet, do. Trust me, it is more than “worth reading.” :)

Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle

The Castro Valley Local Authors Fair is Today, Saturday, June 20th, from 1 to 4 pm!

Here is my press release regarding my appearance at the fair:

Lori Schafer, author of the award-winning memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened: A Daughter’s Memoir of Mental Illness and the newly released romance Just the Three of Us: An Erotic Romantic Comedy for the Commitment-Challenged will be signing copies of her books on Saturday, June 20th at the first Local Author Fair to be held at the Castro Valley Public Library. It will be Schafer’s first public appearance after dislocating her shoulder during an ice hockey game in December.

“My memoir was released in November, and I had numerous book signings planned,” Schafer said. “But after the injury, my arm had to be immobilized in a sling for six weeks – which meant no driving, no writing, and only left-handed typing. I couldn’t even get dressed by myself.”

Schafer’s plans were further disrupted when she developed adhesive capsulitis, more commonly known as “frozen shoulder,” a condition in which calcium deposits build up in a joint during a lengthy period of immobilization, severely limiting range of motion.

“It was such a shock to me, finally getting out of that sling and discovering that my arm wouldn’t move. I couldn’t even reach the keyboard of my laptop at first. Plus being housebound for three months nearly drove me nuts.”

Schafer does physical therapy daily, but she is still looking at a lengthy recovery – perhaps six months to a year, after which she may still need surgery to correct tears in her labrum.

“I’ve got about 120 degrees in most directions, and that’s enough to allow me to do most things I need to do. The biggest improvement, though, is being able to drive again. It simply wasn’t practical for me to walk the two miles down to the grocery store and back – especially when I can’t even put on a backpack.”

Schafer was therefore thrilled to learn about the Local Author Fair in the Castro Valley Forum last month.

“I’m so excited they’re doing that. I’ve been reluctant to schedule events until I was able to get around on my own –I was very disappointed to have missed the Bay Area Book Festival – and now I want to do as many as possible just in case I have to have surgery next year. It’s likely to be a very long recovery if I do, as it’s probable that I’ll develop frozen shoulder again following the procedure.”

How will this affect the author’s plans for the future?

“The injury, the frozen shoulder, and the physical therapy have all put me way behind schedule on – well, everything! I haven’t even cleaned house in months, and I’m disappointed that I haven’t had more time for writing. But I figure if I might be looking at surgery then I ought to get around as much as I can while I can. I will be attending the 7th Annual NW Book Festival in Portland in July and am also trying to schedule more events to places where I feel comfortable travelling.”

There has been an unexpected plus side to the injury, though, Schafer asserts.

“I’ve worked a shoulder dislocation into the plot of my work-in-progress, a sequel to Just the Three of Us. It’s the culmination of a series of horrible events the protagonist endures on the heels of making a big mistake. Thanks to the personal experience, I’ve been able to detail it out in a way I never could have before – complete with screaming.”

In addition to On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened and Just the Three of Us, Schafer will also be offering for sale and signing two literary short story collections, an erotic short story collection entitled To All the Penises I’ve Ever Known, and her debut novel My Life with Michael: A Novel of Sex, Beer and Middle Age. Schafer assures readers not to worry about her damaging her injured arm.

“It is so stiff that if you try to push it to the side, my whole body moves! Trust me, this is the toughest this shoulder has ever been – I have no problem carrying boxes of books.”

The Local Author Fair will feature 39 Bay Area authors and will take place at the Castro Valley Public Library located at 3600 Norbridge Avenue in Castro Valley on Saturday, June 20th from 1 to 4 pm. Interested parties wishing to learn more about the event may also contact Chris Selig at (510) 608-1137.

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My Interview with Dorit Sasson on Giving Voice to Your Story!

Well, here it is – my first live interview and my first radio show!

As those of you who saw my post last week already know, last Thursday I had an interview with Dorit Sasson on her BlogTalkRadio program “Giving Voice to Your Story.” Dorit is a freelance writer, coach, and memoirist whose memoir Accidental Soldier: What My Service in the Israel Defense Forces Taught Me about Faith, Courage and Love will be published by She Writes Press in 2016.

I considered myself lucky to have such a good host, and I thought Dorit did a great job of making our talk sound more like a conversation than an interview. I also felt fortunate in being somewhat familiar with the BlogTalkRadio setup, which made me considerably less apprehensive. I knew, for example, that I needed to keep quiet once I heard the “Blog Talk Radio” intro, and also that the program would cut off promptly at the thirty-minute mark, so I was prepared for that. And although I tend to worry about technical issues, it went quite smoothly (on my end, anyway!) as all I had to do was call in at the appointed time and hang up when it was over.

As for the interview itself, I think it went pretty well. It was interesting discussing my memoir with someone who had her own distinct perspective on it. Dorit’s focus tended to be more on the mother-daughter relationship than on the illness, which is something that few people have emphasized, although it is, of course, a vital part of the story, and also a vital part of Dorit’s own forthcoming memoir. I really felt as though I learned something about my own book in the process, and I hope you will, too.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/givingvoicetoyourstory/2015/06/04/giving-voice-to-your-story-with-lori-schafer

Dorit Sasson, host of Giving Voice to Your Story and author of Accidental Soldier: What My Service in the Israel Defense Forces Taught Me About Faith, Courage, and Love

Dorit Sasson, host of Giving Voice to Your Story and author of Accidental Soldier: What My Service in the Israel Defense Forces Taught Me About Faith, Courage, and Love

SALE! My Erotic Romantic Comedy Just the Three of Us is Just $0.99 through June 11th!

The eBook version of my funny, sexy romance Just the Three of Us: An Erotic Romantic Comedy for the Commitment-Challenged is on sale for just $0.99 through Thursday, June 11th (borrow FREE with Kindle Unlimited). I’ve been incredibly pleased by how the book has been received by readers so far – some of the reviews have been quite entertaining, too!

Five Stars   Not What I Expected… So Much Better

I wasn’t sure how much humor a book about a triad couple could elicit, but this one made me laugh out loud. From the start of the book when Kathy feel like a dirty old woman to the end where she finds her place in their world. There are laughs, tears and a few things that make you reference porn for logistics. All in all a well written book.

Five Stars   Hot, Sexy, and Well-Written

Love comes in many forms, and although this books interpretation of a loving relationship may not fit many people’s idea of a healthy family unit, the author just somehow makes it work for the two men and woman in this book. The writing is clear and concise and the growing attraction between the characters as they struggle to find their way in this unusual relationship is honest, real and oh so sexy. There is plenty of sizzling three way sex in this book, but laid over it all is the love and care that the characters feel for one another. This book is a romance with well developed characters and lots of sexy scenes rather than porn with a throw away stab at building a plot.

NO CLIFF HANGER!! This is a stand alone book with another related book due to publish this year, and I am looking forward to reading more from this author. This book was well worth my time and I will revisit the characters in my mind, like old friends, for a long time to come.

Just the Three of Us II

In Which She Talks About Herself in the Third Person

So here it is – two firsts. My very first radio interview, which I’ve announced in my very first press release:

Award-winning memoirist Lori Schafer to appear on BlogTalkRadio show “Giving Voice to Your Story” on Thursday, June 4th

Author Lori Schafer will give her first live interview concerning her award-winning memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened on “Giving Voice to Your Story” on Thursday, June 4th at 11 am EDT. Schafer, whose memoir recounts her terrifying adolescent experience of her mother’s psychosis, won a spot on Dorit Sasson’s BlogTalkRadio program through a contest on the popular writer’s blog “The Write Life” earlier this year.

“I’m excited, but also a bit nervous,” Schafer admitted. “Dorit and I only met through the contest, so we don’t know each other at all. I have no idea what she’s going to ask me. It’s like a job interview – I’ll mostly be winging it and hoping to make a good impression on listeners.”

Schafer has high hopes for the interview, however. In fact, it was Sasson’s program that inspired her to begin a BlogTalkRadio show of her own.

“I’m currently looking at a fall start date,” she affirmed. “I had hoped to begin sooner, but my schedule has been so full this year that I had to postpone it.”

Schafer is planning an eclectic program featuring readings from her own work, discussion panels on topics of interest to readers and writers, and interviews like the one Sasson will be conducting with the author.

“I’m truly appreciative of this opportunity to interview with Dorit. Radio is a very different way of interacting with an audience, and I’m really looking forward to experiencing that. But the format feels strange to me – it isn’t like writing, where you get the chance to edit and re-edit your words if they come out wrong the first or second or twentieth time. Live is live – you only get one shot at getting it right.”

Schafer’s memoir has recently been the subject of critical acclaim. It was awarded a Gold Medal in the 2015 eLit Book Awards and was a finalist in both the National Indie Excellence and International Book Awards competitions.

“It’s a fascinating book, not only because of its subject matter, but because of its non-linear narrative structure. It will be interesting to discuss from both a literary and a psychological perspective.”

Listeners can tune in to the thirty-minute program live or listen to the podcast, which will be archived after the show airs at the following link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/givingvoicetoyourstory/2015/06/04/giving-voice-to-your-story-with-lori-schafer

Listeners are also encouraged to call in with questions and comments.

“I’ve really enjoyed discussing my book with readers on social media,” Schafer says. “But it can be hard to have a real conversation in 140 characters or less!”

Schafer, who originally intended to shy away from requests for live interviews, now welcomes them.

“Reader response to my memoir has been simply amazing. People have been incredibly supportive, but what’s really moved me have been the number of folks who have come forward to share their stories with me. It’s as if they, too, have been keeping this dark family secret and are glad to have someone finally reveal it.”

Schafer’s memoir is available in paperback at retailers worldwide and in eBook exclusively on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N0WYHDQ/). Interested parties may visit her website at https://lorilschafer.com/ for further information.

Dorit Sasson Interview

Among the Snowdrops

My flash fiction piece “Among the Snowdrops” has been published in the Journal of Microliterature:

http://www.microliterature.org/among-snowdrops-lori-schafer#

Story Commentary:

Imagine waking up one day and learning that your mother or father was a serial killer, a torturer in the employ of a brutal dictatorship, or a violent criminal whose “work” has led to the death of innocent children. There must be many such sons and daughters confronting such horrifying realizations, and, for the German generation that was born in the final years and aftermath of the Third Reich, it must have been a common story indeed.

In addition to the Nazi leaders whose names are well known, thousands of ordinary men and women were employed in the massive bureaucracy that engineered and managed the Holocaust, and much study has been made of their motivations, of the means by which they morally justified their actions, and of even of their eventual reabsorption into post-war German society. Yet comparatively little has been said regarding their children, each of whom, must, at some point, have discovered that the man or woman they loved and respected had been a participant in arguably the greatest tragedy in history. How does a child reconcile the image of a parent they know as gentle and doting with the picture of one screaming “Schnell! Schneller!” at starving concentration camp inmates while wielding a whip? How many young people have listened to their elderly grandparents regale them with tales of the “good old days” only to later discover that they meant the Nazi regime?

Although the image of Magda Goebbels poisoning her six children in the bunker beneath Berlin as the Russians invaded fills us with pity and horror for the innocent victims, one can’t help but wonder what kind of lives they would have led, growing up in the shadow of the crimes of their father. What life would have awaited Hitler’s sons and daughters, if he had had them? Would they have defended or even glorified their father, like Gudrun Burwitz, daughter of Heinrich Himmler, who, seventy years later, is still a staunch supporter of Nazi ideology and a hero of the neo-Nazi movement? Few, I think, could maintain such a stance. Most, I suspect, would prefer to simply forget the troubling history of the older generation, because the participants in the massacre we know as the Holocaust were once so ubiquitous and so widespread that their children could not have rejected them, as Gretchen in this story rejected her mother. The former low-level Nazis were rarely shunned or ostracized by their society; by and large they returned to their lives, as did their parents and brothers and sisters and yes, even their children.

Somewhere in Germany a very old woman sits and examines a photograph of herself or her young husband in uniform and remembers those days as the best time of her life. In so many ways, she is no different from any other elderly lady who fondly recalls her era of youth, and this is what we must find so disturbing. Because she does not look like a criminal, and she does not seem sadistic or evil; she is merely an old woman who works in her garden and has tea with her neighbors, and her “colorful” past has been graciously forgotten. But sometimes let us stop, let us look at her and remember how easy it can be to forget, how much more comfortable it can be to disregard what we don’t wish to remember. And let us take flowers from her carefully tended garden and place them on the graves where they truly belong.

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SALE! My Award-Winning Memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened Just $0.99 through 05/14

The Kindle version of my award-winning memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened: A Daughter’s Memoir of Mental Illness has been discounted to just $0.99 through Thursday, May 14th on Amazon.com.

Blurb:

It was the spring of 1989. I was sixteen years old, a junior in high school and an honors student. I had what every teenager wants: a stable family, a nice home in the suburbs, a great group of friends, big plans for my future, and no reason to believe that any of that would ever change.

Then came my mother’s psychosis.

I experienced first-hand the terror of watching someone I loved transform into a monster, the terror of discovering that I was to be her primary victim. For years I’ve lived with the sadness of knowing that she, too, was a helpless victim – a victim of a terrible disease that consumed and destroyed the strong and caring woman I had once called Mom.

My mother’s illness took everything. My family, my home, my friends, my future. A year and a half later I would be living alone on the street on the other side of the country, wondering whether I could even survive on my own.

But I did. That was how my mother – my real mother – raised me. To survive.

She, too, was a survivor. It wasn’t until last year that I learned that she had died – in 2007. No one will ever know her side of the story now. But perhaps, at last, it’s time for me to tell mine.

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How, On Mother’s Day, Twitter Taught Me the True Meaning of Social Support

I wrote this post last year on the day after Mother’s Day. I’m still blown away when I remember how I felt that day, and I felt compelled to share it again.

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day. It is not a holiday I celebrate. I am not a mother myself, and as those of you who know something of my personal history are aware, my relationship with my own mother was critically wounded when she became mentally ill during my adolescence.

I’m generally not much affected by the holiday. It’s been years since I left home, and by now I’ve spent more of my life without my mom than I spent with her. Time heals. But last year I learned that she had died – in 2007. And ever since then I’ve found myself thinking of her much more often, of the mother she was when I was young, and of the mother she became when I was older. And in completing my memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened naturally I’ve had to spend a great deal of time digging deeper into my long-repressed feelings towards her, this woman I once loved with all my heart.

And maybe that’s why, on Sunday morning as I was doing my usual Twitter thing, I found myself growing uncomfortable when faced with the steady stream of tweets celebrating moms and motherhood. That’s wonderful, of course, for people who are mothers and who have mothers – they should celebrate. But then I thought, what about those who don’t ? What about all those children – young and old alike – who have lost their mothers? How does it make them feel to be deluged with these reminders of other people’s happy families when their own has been torn apart?

I hadn’t known ahead of time what I was going to tweet that day. I had nothing sweet or tender to offer in honor of the holiday, nothing warm or fuzzy I wanted to say about my mom or anyone else’s. But as I waded my way through my tweetstream, it suddenly came to me that even if I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I knew who I wanted to speak to, this Mother’s Day. Not to the mothers, but to the motherless.

And this is what I posted.

“For all those who can no longer celebrate #MothersDay… Remember #Mom.”

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And then I got up and made breakfast. When I returned to my computer about an hour later, my tweet had been retweeted 49 times and favorited 70 times.

I was blown away. Needless to say, nothing I have ever posted on Twitter has ever gotten anything close to that kind of response. As of this writing, there have been 133 retweets and 152 favorites – mostly by people with whom I had no prior connection. And people responded! How they responded. Here are a few of the notes I received:

“I remember my mom too! Its the 1st Mother’s Day without her! Be strong, Lori!”

“I put flowers on my mother’s grave too. Miss her so much today.”

“Thank you. Lovely reminder of our mothers lost too early.”

“Thank you Lori. This is a tough day for a lot of us, but this makes it a little easier.”

I was moved. Deeply, deeply moved. My tweet – 70 characters and a photo – had actually reached people, hundreds of them; it had touched them in a brief yet meaningful way. And when you look at the responses it prompted, it’s apparent that there were different reasons why. Some wanted to share their own feelings about their own lost mothers. Some wanted to offer their support to others who might be in pain. And some were merely grateful to be acknowledged – to be given the recognition that Mother’s Day is not necessarily a day of celebration for everyone. The responses varied. But at heart they all stemmed from the same impulse, our unquenchable desire to communicate our feelings to other humans.

It’s often said that social media is about making meaningful connections, about developing relationships with individuals you wouldn’t normally encounter in your local environment. But there’s a different kind of connection that social media also makes possible. Connecting to strangers. People with whom you have no real relationship and probably never will. People with whom you have absolutely nothing in common, except for this – a shared emotion. A shared feeling, a shared experience. A shared bit of the humanity that’s common to us all.

In its own strange way, social media unites us. We’ve all heard of revolutionary movements being organized through Twitter. We’re all aware of the grassroots activism that’s transpiring every day on the internet. We all know how social media is changing our lives, how it’s connecting people all around the world, how it brings people together, how it makes their voices heard.

And what we’re discovering is that we are not alone. There are millions upon millions of others just like us, in all the countries of the world, who are living and loving and laughing and crying and hurting and dying. We no longer have to be alone with our feelings. We can touch, and be touched. We can share our sorrow. We can share our pain. We can find comfort and support in the hearts of strangers. We can find strength in the swell of humanity that surrounds us, in the knowledge that in some of the most essential ways, we are not many, but one.

It’s a powerful age. And a beautiful one. For the first time in history, we can reach out to our fellow humans, all of them. Knowing that they can respond to us. Knowing that they will reach back.