Well, here it is – my first live interview and my first radio show!
As those of you who saw my post last week already know, last Thursday I had an interview with Dorit Sasson on her BlogTalkRadio program “Giving Voice to Your Story.” Dorit is a freelance writer, coach, and memoirist whose memoir Accidental Soldier: What My Service in the Israel Defense Forces Taught Me about Faith, Courage and Love will be published by She Writes Press in 2016.
I considered myself lucky to have such a good host, and I thought Dorit did a great job of making our talk sound more like a conversation than an interview. I also felt fortunate in being somewhat familiar with the BlogTalkRadio setup, which made me considerably less apprehensive. I knew, for example, that I needed to keep quiet once I heard the “Blog Talk Radio” intro, and also that the program would cut off promptly at the thirty-minute mark, so I was prepared for that. And although I tend to worry about technical issues, it went quite smoothly (on my end, anyway!) as all I had to do was call in at the appointed time and hang up when it was over.
As for the interview itself, I think it went pretty well. It was interesting discussing my memoir with someone who had her own distinct perspective on it. Dorit’s focus tended to be more on the mother-daughter relationship than on the illness, which is something that few people have emphasized, although it is, of course, a vital part of the story, and also a vital part of Dorit’s own forthcoming memoir. I really felt as though I learned something about my own book in the process, and I hope you will, too.
Dorit Sasson, host of Giving Voice to Your Story and author of Accidental Soldier: What My Service in the Israel Defense Forces Taught Me About Faith, Courage, and Love
Lori Schafer's Short Subjects I Feel Like Writing About 
Interesting stuff Lori; I learnt some stuff and it was great to put voice to the page as it were. And reading your exchange with Alaina is interesting. I too was struck by the lack of benefit you described. Naively i had assumed it would be at least a relief to commit it to public gaze, like it validates what happened, makes it real, rather than just something you carry within yourself. Perhaps (poor analogy coming up) like a boil it is painful to burst and cleanse but afterwards, given time things are better – still scarring but cleaner and with a better chance of healing over time. Shoot that down if it’s crap; I’ve not had the issue you’ve had to deal with. Makes for an engaging and fascinating half hour though.
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Yeah, I don’t know – everyone else seems to believe in the healing power of memoir, so maybe I’m just weird that way. I mean, I’m not sorry I did it, but I don’t feel as though it transformed me in any way. The irony is, my second memoir The Long Road Home (which I’ve temporarily abandoned) is about coming to terms with my feelings about my life and where it’s going, and writing it therefore does have a healing power of sorts. There has to be some distinction there between the two projects that affects how I feel about them – I’m just not quite sure what it is.
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Maybe it’s like grief (about which I can talk, I think) in that its impact is very non linear and catches me at different times, unexpectedly. As for the seven stages, well, some haven’t ever occurred and some have but in the ‘wrong’ order. Perhaps the catharsis comes later for you?
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I just listened to your blog talk interview. You sounded really good. I think it’s great that you are doing the audio version for your memoir. You definitely have the voice for it.
I was struck by what you said about feeling like you might have been better off emotionally if you hadn’t written your memoir — that it wasn’t cathartic or therapeutic as you had hoped it would be. (I’m paraphrasing here, as I can’t remember the exact words you used, so please correct me if I’m wrong.) This is what I have been experiencing in writing my memoir. My therapist is urging me to write my story, because he thinks it will help me heal. But how can reliving all this pain be healing?
Maybe, like you said, it comes down to time. Maybe healing will come after enough time has gone by from the day you reached The End of your memoir. I hope so, for your sake.
How is it affecting you emotionally now to make the audio version of your book? Is that also painful, or is it healing?
I find it much easier to speak than to write. In fact, lately I have been thinking of recording my story and then paying someone to transcribe it into a manuscript. I have also been seriously thinking of just giving up on ever finishing my stupid memoir. But then I feel like I might get a hernia from trying to keep everything inside. Sigh……
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Well, I’m glad it isn’t just me that feels that way! Most people seem to agree that a process like this is supposed to be therapeutic, but for me, I don’t know that it was. On the other hand, I look at what you said – that you feel like you might get a hernia from trying to keep everything inside – and it makes me wonder if there is fundamental need to share this kind of story, you know? Even if you don’t necessarily enjoy it. You, I think, do need to tell your story whether you want to or not. You’ve been trying so long I think it’s eating you up inside, and at this point, I don’t think it matters how it gets done as long as it gets done. But I totally see where you’re coming from – the process can be so painful that if some sort of healing is going to come out of it, it can be hard to envision when or how.
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I have been spending so much time reading blogs and commenting on blogs instead of writing my memoir, that I recently unfollowed all the blogs I was following so I wouldn’t have so many distractions. But I keep coming back and checking on a few favorite blogs, yours being one of the 3 or 4 I can’t give up entirely. :)
Yes, I think I do need to write my memoir, like it or not. It’s like a SCREAM you can’t keep inside when something horrific happens. Screaming in terror isn’t enjoyable, but maybe it releases something that would eat you alive if you held it in.
I’m thinking you will probably be in much better emotional shape than I am when you get to my age, than you otherwise might have been if you hadn’t written your compelling memoir.
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Oof, yeah, the blogging community is great, but so addictive and time-consuming. I keep having to step back in order to get stuff done, too, and it still never seems to be enough :(
I think your scream analogy is dead on – you have to do it, you can’t help it, it’s instinctive, your whole being knows that it needs to let out that scream even if it’s not going to do a darned thing for you. And when your options are to let it out or choke on it, maybe letting it out starts to sound pretty good.
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