Based on an episode from my mother’s mental illness, Poisoned tells twin tales: my own personal recollection of my mother’s paranoid accusations that I was poisoning her, and a fictionalized short story of a husband and wife that was inspired by it. Both versions are also featured in my memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened.
Monthly Archives: July 2018
“Weekend Away: An Almost-Erotic, Almost-Love Story” is FREE for Kindle through 7/30
My long short story Weekend Away: An Almost-Erotic, Almost-Love Story is FREE for Kindle through Monday the 30th.
Prefer the audiobook? It’s now available on Amazon at the discounted price of only $2.77!
“And then we were standing, rising up from the water, and as the droplets cascaded down my naked body I imagined myself as a mortal and less awe-inspiring version of Aphrodite, and Jesse as Poseidon, except with, um, only one prong in his trident.”
Cindy’s friend Jesse is great – especially when he gets out of her way after the “benefits” part of their evening is over. So when he proposes a weekend excursion at a nearby lake, she’s naturally suspicious – isn’t that the kind of thing “couples” do? Now she might never be able to get the smell of him off her…
Last Day to get Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any: Volume 3 FREE for Kindle!
Today is the last day to get Volume 3 of my eBook series Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any: Practical Cash Flow Strategies for Small Business, Managing Accounts Receivable and Payroll FREE for Kindle on Amazon. Download your copy today!
Prefer a hard copy? A consolidated paperback version of Volumes 1 through 3 is now also available:
Is your business profitable – yet still you never seem to have enough cash?
Do you find yourself not knowing what to do with the cash you do have?
Are you constantly wondering whether you’re going to make payroll?
Are your vendors going unpaid and threatening to cut off your supplies?
Are your subcontractors refusing to work unless you pay them up front, worsening your already precarious cash situation?
Are your company credit cards and lines of credit maxed out, with no hope of borrowing more?
Are your employees irritable because you’ve reduced their benefits, and it’s been years since they’ve had a raise?
Are you irritable because you can’t stop worrying about money?
Are you wasting your precious dollars on interest and late fees, making it impossible for you to ever catch up?
Have you just started your business and find yourself running out of capital already?
Do you find yourself thinking, “I know we could succeed if only we could only pull ourselves out of this hole!”
If so, the Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any series is for you!
In Volume 3 of the series, I discuss how best to manage your Accounts Receivable and Payroll with the aim of maintaining good cash flow. I will tell you:
The importance of accurately predicting your inflows in creating a manageable cash flow plan.
How to use calculate how much money you’ll have coming in and when you can reasonably expect it.
Setting monthly Accounts Receivable and cash projections and goals and how doing so can both create incentives for your employees and help you to predict how your month is going to go.
Suggestions for tweaking an Accounts Receivable schedule that always leaves you cash-poor.
The pros and cons of various methods for encouraging your customers to pay you early or on time – accepting credit card payments, offering cash discounts, etc.
How and why you should turn maintaining cash inflows into a cooperative company-wide endeavor.
Why you should empower as many people in your firm to collect payments as you safely can and how to do so without sacrificing security.
The “No, we’re not desperate” plea for money and why you need to master it.
How properly setting payment expectations with your customers from the start will help to ensure that you get paid in full and on time.
How to approach collecting from private individuals versus collecting from businesses.
When to bring in the “big guns” in collections – and how using their ammunition sparingly can make it more effective.
How to make employees who are uncomfortable with the collections process more at ease when it comes to asking for money.
Lies I’ve heard collection people tell – which ones worked and which ones didn’t.
How to select a payroll schedule that works best for your firm.
How changing your current payroll schedule may solve some of your company’s cash flow problems – and possibly create others.
The differential cost of having more frequent or less frequent payrolls.
How payroll services are robbing you of control over your cash flow, and when it’s time to take it back.
Tips for minimizing your worker’s compensation expense and making sure you don’t get hit with a giant bill when your policy ends.
Understanding payroll taxes – the comparatively small expense that can have a disproportionately large impact on your cash flow.
Why not paying your payroll taxes is a really bad idea – and what to do if you haven’t.
How to deal with the IRS and other government agencies if you haven’t fulfilled your payroll or other tax obligations.
My Life with Michael: A Novel of Sex, Beer and Middle Age is FREE through 7/23!
My Life with Michael is an erotic novel for anyone who has ever wanted to have their beer and drink it, too. Surprisingly sweet, the story follows the course of an adulterous affair between two ordinary people confronting the changes that aging brings to the experience of love and sexuality. With humor and honesty, my novel explores the pleasures and pitfalls of the adulterous relationship: the crudity of the courtship, the raw sexuality that ultimately lapses into monotony, and, inevitably, the bittersweet farewell.
FREE for Kindle through Monday, July 23rd. Download your copy today!
The Hannelack Fanny, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Rump is FREE through 7/16!
My funny, sexy short story The Hannelack Fanny, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Rump is FREE for Kindle on Amazon through Monday, July 16th.
Prefer the audiobook? This story is also enabled for Whispersync, which can be added to the FREE Kindle book for only $1.99 via Audible and Amazon.
A young woman’s life is changed forever when she discovers what everyone around her has known all along: that a renowned family characteristic has re-emerged in a most unfortunate location – her own backside. Follow her journey from embarrassment to acceptance to unbridled joy as she learns to appreciate the wonders of going through life with the Hannelack fanny.
The Layperson’s Bible: Volume 1, Sexuality is FREE through Monday
Craig Reinhardt’s essay collection The Layperson’s Bible: Volume 1: Sexuality is FREE through Monday, July 9th. Download your copy today!
As always, the book is also FREE with Kindle Unlimited.
I was raised without religion. My mother was a lapsed Catholic, my father a lapsed Protestant. My understanding of Easter as a child was that it was that day you ate ham (as opposed to Christmas, which was that other day you ate turkey). I have been to regular church services exactly four times in my life, and I can’t say I remember much about them – except for the hymns. For that matter, I’ve been to Passover services exactly four times, too, with my ex-girlfriend. I seem to remember liking the music there, too.
In other words, apart from the singing, when it comes to the Judeo-Christian tradition, I haven’t a clue. I could not – and still cannot – tell you the difference between a Presbyterian and an Episcopalian or a Methodist and a Baptist. In addition, I grew up in New England, in an area where Jews were nearly as prevalent as Christians, and seemed to have nearly as many variations on their religious tradition as the Christians did. All of these different people, so much alike in their non-religious lives, yet each of them carrying a torch for some particular branch of a faith, the nuances of which I couldn’t begin to understand. What could they all have in common? The Bible, of course.
So I decided to read it. Yes, I read it, the whole thing, even the really boring parts about who begat whom ad infinitum. And you know what? It turns out that The Bible is really pretty interesting – particularly when you know next to nothing about the religions that use it as a basis for their doctrine and faith. And so I sat down and began analyzing what The Bible said to me as a layperson, someone with no emotional or historical attachment to its teachings and tenets. These volumes are the result of that analysis.
It is not my intention to judge the value, relevance, or accuracy of what The Bible says, nor do I pretend to be a religious scholar of any sort with special knowledge of biblical interpretation or history. Rather, I examine the meaning of what The Bible says to ME, an ordinary twenty-first century person without religious training or knowledge who has picked up The Good Book for the first time and said to himself, “Well, look at that! Who’d have thought that was in there all along?”
I had a lot of fun digging these gems out of our most famous work of literature, and I hope you’ll have fun reading them, too. This first volume is on everyone’s favorite subject: SEXUALITY. What does The Bible really say about homosexuality? About adultery, chastity, and incest? If you’re a layperson like me, I think you may be surprised by just what’s contained in those two testaments – and the impact those words have had upon our society down to this day.
There’s Gonna Be Fireworks!
Dated, but still educational. (Not to mention groovy!)