Author Archives: lorilschafer

About lorilschafer

Lori Schafer is a writer of serious prose and humorous erotica and romance. More than thirty of her short stories, flash fiction, and essays have appeared in a variety of print and online publications, and her first novel, a work of women's fiction entitled My Life with Michael: A Story of Sex and Beer for the Middle-Aged, will be released in 2015. Also forthcoming in 2015 is her second novel, Just the Three of Us: An Erotic Romantic Comedy for the Commitment-Challenged. On the more serious side, her memoir, On Hearing of My Mother's Death Six Years After It Happened: A Daughter's Memoir of Mental Illness, will be published in October 2014. You can find out more about Lori and her forthcoming projects by visiting her website at

Last Day to get Essays on Film FREE for Kindle

My eBook Essays on Film is FREE for Kindle on Amazon, today only! Features the following:

“On Viewing Hans Richter’s Rhythmus 21″: The search for cinematic meaning in one of the most famous early German avant-garde films.

The Perfect Filmic Appositiveness of Jack Smith”: Impressions of the films of one of cinema’s most eccentric auteurs.

Prefer the audiobook? Essays on Film is also available in audio on Audible, Amazon, and ITunes.


Essays on Film Audiobook




Careful: A Love Story for the Middle-Aged is FREE through Monday, 8/13

“On bad days I wondered how old people ever even did it. Sometimes walking seemed like too much effort, let alone all the aerobicized contortionism that went with sex.”

My short romance Careful: A Love Story for the Middle-Aged is FREE for Kindle on Amazon through Monday, August 13th. Prefer the audiobook? It’s also available on Audible, Amazon, and Itunes!


Last Day to get Sex! in the Bible FREE for Kindle

Ever wonder what The Bible really says about homosexuality? About adultery, chastity, and incest? If you’re interested in sex and the history of sexuality like me, you may be surprised by just what’s contained in those two testaments – and the impact those words have had upon our society down to this day.

Sex! in the Bible is FREE through Monday, August 6th. Download your copy today!

As always, the book is also FREE with Kindle Unlimited.

Sex in the Bible

Squirrel Revolution! A Speculative Fiction Short Story is FREE through Monday

A small-town sheriff notices unusual behavior among the local squirrels in this whimsical look at the long-term evolutionary effects of human activities on our furry little neighbors. Available as a FREE Kindle download on Amazon through Monday, August 6th!

Squirrel Revolution 2018



Poisoned: The Short Story and the Memoir is FREE on Amazon through Wednesday!

Based on an episode from my mother’s mental illness, Poisoned tells twin tales: my own personal recollection of my mother’s paranoid accusations that I was poisoning her, and a fictionalized short story of a husband and wife that was inspired by it. Both versions are also featured in my memoir On Hearing of My Mother’s Death Six Years After It Happened.


“Weekend Away: An Almost-Erotic, Almost-Love Story” is FREE for Kindle through 7/30

My long short story Weekend Away: An Almost-Erotic, Almost-Love Story is FREE for Kindle through Monday the 30th.

Prefer the audiobook? It’s now available on Amazon at the discounted price of only $2.77!


“And then we were standing, rising up from the water, and as the droplets cascaded down my naked body I imagined myself as a mortal and less awe-inspiring version of Aphrodite, and Jesse as Poseidon, except with, um, only one prong in his trident.”

Cindy’s friend Jesse is great – especially when he gets out of her way after the “benefits” part of their evening is over. So when he proposes a weekend excursion at a nearby lake, she’s naturally suspicious – isn’t that the kind of thing “couples” do? Now she might never be able to get the smell of him off her…



Last Day to get Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any: Volume 3 FREE for Kindle!

Today is the last day to get Volume 3 of my eBook series Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any: Practical Cash Flow Strategies for Small Business, Managing Accounts Receivable and Payroll FREE for Kindle on Amazon. Download your copy today!

Prefer a hard copy? A consolidated paperback version of Volumes 1 through 3 is now also available:


Barnes and Noble


Is your business profitable – yet still you never seem to have enough cash?
Do you find yourself not knowing what to do with the cash you do have?
Are you constantly wondering whether you’re going to make payroll?
Are your vendors going unpaid and threatening to cut off your supplies?
Are your subcontractors refusing to work unless you pay them up front, worsening your already precarious cash situation?
Are your company credit cards and lines of credit maxed out, with no hope of borrowing more?
Are your employees irritable because you’ve reduced their benefits, and it’s been years since they’ve had a raise?
Are you irritable because you can’t stop worrying about money?
Are you wasting your precious dollars on interest and late fees, making it impossible for you to ever catch up?
Have you just started your business and find yourself running out of capital already?
Do you find yourself thinking, “I know we could succeed if only we could only pull ourselves out of this hole!”

If so, the Managing Cash When You Haven’t Got Any series is for you!

In Volume 3 of the series, I discuss how best to manage your Accounts Receivable and Payroll with the aim of maintaining good cash flow. I will tell you:

The importance of accurately predicting your inflows in creating a manageable cash flow plan.

How to use calculate how much money you’ll have coming in and when you can reasonably expect it.

Setting monthly Accounts Receivable and cash projections and goals and how doing so can both create incentives for your employees and help you to predict how your month is going to go.

Suggestions for tweaking an Accounts Receivable schedule that always leaves you cash-poor.

The pros and cons of various methods for encouraging your customers to pay you early or on time – accepting credit card payments, offering cash discounts, etc.

How and why you should turn maintaining cash inflows into a cooperative company-wide endeavor.

Why you should empower as many people in your firm to collect payments as you safely can and how to do so without sacrificing security.

The “No, we’re not desperate” plea for money and why you need to master it.

How properly setting payment expectations with your customers from the start will help to ensure that you get paid in full and on time.

How to approach collecting from private individuals versus collecting from businesses.

When to bring in the “big guns” in collections – and how using their ammunition sparingly can make it more effective.

How to make employees who are uncomfortable with the collections process more at ease when it comes to asking for money.

Lies I’ve heard collection people tell – which ones worked and which ones didn’t.

How to select a payroll schedule that works best for your firm.

How changing your current payroll schedule may solve some of your company’s cash flow problems – and possibly create others.

The differential cost of having more frequent or less frequent payrolls.

How payroll services are robbing you of control over your cash flow, and when it’s time to take it back.

Tips for minimizing your worker’s compensation expense and making sure you don’t get hit with a giant bill when your policy ends.

Understanding payroll taxes – the comparatively small expense that can have a disproportionately large impact on your cash flow.

Why not paying your payroll taxes is a really bad idea – and what to do if you haven’t.

How to deal with the IRS and other government agencies if you haven’t fulfilled your payroll or other tax obligations.