Tag Archives: bipolar disorder

Farewell to Carrie Fisher, One of the True Icons of My Generation

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“I was street smart, but unfortunately the street was Rodeo Drive.”

On her father’s gossipy 1999 autobiography: “I’m going to have my DNA fumigated.”

“I always wanted to do what my mother did – get all dressed up, shoot people, fall in the mud. I never considered anything else.”

“You can’t find true affection in Hollywood because everyone does the fake affection so well.”

“Females get hired along procreative lines. After 40, we’re kind of cooked.”

On merchandising for Star Wars: “I signed my likeness away. Every time I look in the mirror, I have to send Lucas a couple of bucks.”

“My father (Eddie Fisher) was a short Jewish man. My husband (Paul Simon) was a short Jewish man. Go figure.”

Describing working with Harrison Ford on the original Star Wars, Episode IV – A New Hope (1977): “Mark was 24, I was 19 and he [Harrison] was 33. He was like the big man on campus. You looked at him and you said to yourself, ‘He’s going to be a star.’ “

Explaining why gaffer’s tape was sometimes used under her Princess Leia costume in Star Wars, Episode IV – A New Hope (1977): “As we all know, there is no underwear in space.”

“Acting engenders and harbors qualities that are best left way behind in adolescence. People-pleasing, going on those interviews and jamming your whole personality into getting the job, ingratiating yourself to people you wouldn’t f***ing spit on if they were on fire.”

 Describing the filming of Star Wars, Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980): “Mark [Hamill] was off on Dagobah while Harrison [Ford] and I were getting drunk in Cloud City.”

“I think of my body as a side effect of my mind.”

On success: “There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap.’ “

On time: “Instant gratification takes too long.”

On experience: “Maturity: A stoic response to endless reality.”

[When asked if the character Princess Leia was the dark side of the force in her professional career] “Oh, no. It was fun! I was young. People want it to be a problem for me. No. Those are great movies. Why shouldn’t I be proud of being in that? The dark side? You ever see Hollywood Vice Squad (1986) or The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)? How about Under the Rainbow (1981)? Was Star Wars the dark side? There’s so much competition for that one.”

[About what her father, Eddie Fisher, did to help Elizabeth Taylor after her husband Michael Todd’s death] “He rushed to her side, gradually moving to her front… He consoled her with flowers and, ultimately, he consoled her with his penis.”

[on the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney] “I’m now a Disney Princess!”

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Quotes courtesy of IMDB.com. Photo from the 1995 video release of Return of the Jedi.

Life Raft – Guest Post by Elena (Mrs. Bipolar)

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My cell phone rings. It’s 2:30 a.m., but it hasn’t woken me. Sleep has abandoned me for weeks, to be replaced by worry and thoughts of rearranging my future. I do not need to look; I know that it’s him.

“Hello?”

“I need you.” Quietly and softly. A tone of voice I haven’t heard in months.

Instinctively I pick up my keys and go to the car. Thoughts begin to race through my mind as I drive. He left you. He says it’s over. After all his illness has put you through, why are you going to go to feed the mania? But something in his voice had the whisper of my husband. A faint hint of the reason why I fight so hard and forgive so easily.

As I pull up to the hotel and get out of the car, the cold snap of the wind slaps me in the face as if it’s trying to remind me why he’s here. He can’t live in our home anymore. The laughter and conversation has been replaced by anger, aggressiveness and arguments. The illness is winning. It wasn’t so much that he left me as that I let him go. I’m exhausted. So tired from the battle. A battle that seems to be so entrenched in him right now that no amount of medication can halt the forces.

I enter the room and he’s standing there, waiting for me. His eyes look at me with such longing. A longing that says come and find me, I’m still here. I see the man I married. He strips me of my clothes and takes away all of my insecurities as easily and naturally as a caterpillar sheds its cocoon. I step into the light, naked both emotionally and physically. I’m not the tall, tanned, slender girl I once was. The years and the illness have taken their toll.

He inhales as if catching his breath. “You’re beautiful.”

I’m not sure if he is reminding himself or reassuring me. I let him take over, and explore my body. His touch is slow and gentle, comforting in its familiarity. And yet at the same time, it is filled with a newness, a rediscovery. His hands and mouth cover me as if to memorize my body. My skin burns from his breath, his lips, his kiss. I press myself to him, urging him to move faster, but he’s lost in the pleasure of my excitement. Only after he feels my body shudder and go still does he climb on top of me. I feel the animal instinct that is driving him. He makes love to me with such passion and need that it spills forth in a crescendo that leaves us both gasping. We lay intertwined, in body and soul. Each of us holding tight to the other as if we were life rafts; as if we were saving one another from drowning .

Reality begins to sneak back in like smoke beneath the door of a burning building. My emotions take control. I can’t let him see me cry. I know that the illness will soon return and it will use any weakness I exhibit to wedge its way between us. I have to get out.

He asks me to stay, but I get dressed and leave. The door slams behind me, locking the moment behind it. The sun is rising. In a few hours we will be back at the hospital, seeing psychiatrists, therapists and doctors. I am overcome with the feeling that this is the beginning of the end. What end, I do not know.

* * *

Elena left her retail corporate job over a year ago and began a journey to mold the next chapter of her life by her own rules. She loves to keep a journal and write short stories so it was an easy transition for her to enter the world of blogging. Though it has been an ongoing learning curve, she has jumped in with both feet. Now on the precipice of 50, she has begun a blog to share her humor and bits of wisdom as a woman entering into the prime of her life. You can join her on her quest for serenity at www.livingwithbatman.wordpress.com.

On a personal note, Elena was a divorced, professionally educated woman raising two children alone when she met her second husband. After a whirlwind romance, they married and blended their families. Together they have four wonderful children, three dogs, two cats and one very busy, noisy house!

Elena’s current husband was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 very soon after they were married. To raise awareness for mental illnesses, she shares her personal experiences as the spouse of a bipolar person on her second blog, thebipolarmaniac.com, which she co-authors with another blogger living with bipolar, giving a twin perspective on the disorder. This blog has recently been nominated for Best In Show and Rookie of the Year in the Wego Health Activist Awards. Please visit and endorse her nomination here: https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/10251.

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